The Unforgettable Fire
by Bohemian Storm
Summary: *Finished with Epilogue* Severus Snape is 19 years old and finally ready to commit himself to Voldemort. Narciss Malfoy will do anything to keep her position as Lucius' wife, even if it means getting rid of her biggest competition ... Snape.
1. Chapter 1

The Unforgettable Fire  
  
  
Notes: We're reaching a long and complicated chain of blame here. This was inspired by Dia's fic 'Dark Interlude' which was inspired by my fic, which was inspired by her other fic 'Slytherins All'. *grins* Just thought I'd clarify.  
  
  
More Notes: This was not intended to be a chapter fic ... lucky me it just decided to go in that direction.  
  
  
Chapter One  
  
  
Severus Snape stared at the sprawling castle before him, his dark eyes taking in the ivy that crawled up the stone walls and the black carriage sitting in front of the massive doors. It was protected by magic so that passing Muggles would remember some important business meeting or a dentist appointment if they got too close to stumbling onto the grounds. The one inside couldn't afford having any Muggles in his territory, not while he was quickly rising in power, ready to take over the entire wizarding world. A smile twitched at the corners of Snape's mouth as he thought about the wizard inside. The most powerful wizard of all time. Tom Marvolo Riddle, or as his followers had come to know him, Lord Voldemort.  
  
With his shoulders squared, Snape stepped past the wrought iron gates of the castle and began the long walk up to the house. As he passed the black carriage he ran his palm over the flank of the grey horse reigned to the front of it. The animal stared at Snape with wide brown eyes, then snorted and ducked its head, avoiding Snape's touch. He blinked, still staring at the horse, then shook off the eerie feeling the animal's avoidance had given him. He was doing the right thing, the only thing he could possibly do.  
  
It had been six months since he had last been at Hogwarts, six months since he'd had any contact with any wizards other than his own parents. Even without the daily contact that others had, Snape knew that he didn't belong. He wasn't like the other wizards, as ridiculously cliched as that sounded he knew it was the truth. He was different in so many ways that he couldn't even begin to count them.   
  
He was only nineteen years old and already the world had shunned him for being different. So, in turn, he would shun the world. Severus Snape would become a Death Eater and he would remain loyal to the strongest wizard in the world. When Voldemort gained power, Snape would be able to show the world that he wasn't wrong, just different.  
  
His pale hands pushed against the heavy wooden doors and Snape found himself in a large, ornately decorated room. The walls were dark wood, carved trims rose along the doors and windows, which were covered in thick curtains. The carpet beneath his shoes was soft and thick and he could barely hear the footsteps he made as he walked through the room. A fire burned in the enormous hearth and already, Snape was too warm under the travelling cloak he was wearing.  
  
"Severus Snape?" a voice asked from above and he glanced up the large staircase to see a young woman staring down at him. He nodded slightly and she nodded back, then gestured for him to follow her.   
  
His shoes made no noise as he mounted the stairs and rose into the house. The woman who had called his name didn't speak another word as she led him down a dark hall and pointed to a door ahead of him. He understood what she wasn't saying and he nodded once more. She knew what he was there for and he wasn't going to pretend otherwise.  
  
"Go ahead," she said. "He's waiting."  
  
Snape nodded a final time, then pushed the door open and stepped into the darkened room. A fire blazed and a long, black handle stuck out from the flame. It took Snape a moment to register exactly what it was. The magical branding of Lord Voldemort's followers. The Dark Mark.   
  
He entered a circle of men and woman, each with their faces covered by dark masks. Snape knew that some of his former classmates were among them, many of them had gone over right after graduation. The majority of the Slytherin house was probably in his midst and, he realized with a jolt, Lucius Malfoy might be one of the faces behind the masks. His heart beat quickened slightly as he thought about the man he hadn't seen in months, the man he had spent many hours with over the course of their seven years together at Hogwarts. He battled with the heated flush that rose on his cheeks as he remembered the things he and Lucius had done together, the . . . activities they had amused themselves with. What he wouldn't give to stand there all day and reminisce about the past.  
  
"Severus Snape?"  
  
His name broke through his thoughts for the second time in less than ten minutes and Snape turned toward the voice. A tall man melted out of the shadows and he stepped between two Death Eaters, gently squeezing the shoulder of one before he moved in the centre of the circle. He moved with the grace and fluidity of a cat, his limbs slicing through the air with a confidence Snape had never seen before.   
  
He was a young man still, no older than thirty and as handsome as he'd been at Hogwarts. Green eyes stared out from below a fringe of black hair, his forehead was high and smooth, making him look younger than he probably was. His looks would deceive everyone  
  
"You know who I am?" he asked.  
  
Snape nodded. "Tom Riddle."  
  
A ripple went through the circle of Death Eaters; it had been months since they had heard anyone use their Lord's true name. Even Tom himself seemed to stiffen at the words, but he smiled graciously and sunk into a half bow.  
  
"Tom Marvolo Riddle," he said.  
  
Snape bowed awkwardly. "Severus Snape."  
  
Tom's icy laugh pierced the otherwise silent room and Snape felt his muscles trying to move away, but he forced himself to remain motionless.   
  
"So refreshing," Tom said, smiling at Snape. "It has been quite a while since I've had a man or woman think to introduce themselves. I thank you for that."  
  
Unsure of what to say, Snape simply nodded.   
  
"You are here, I assume, to become a Death Eater," Tom began, striding around the circle that enclosed them. "To become a follower of Lord Voldemort, the persona I have created to protect my true identity from the wizarding community. If this is what you're here to do, Severus, you must realize a few rules before offering me your arm. No one must know who or what you are. If someone from the outside discovers that you are a Death Eater I will be the first to take your life from you. Your loyalty must lie only within me, you must swear it before I give you the Dark Mark."  
  
Snape's dark eyes met Tom's green ones. "I swear it," he said vehemently, his voice low and hard. "I swear my loyalty will remain with you forever."  
  
"Forever?" Tom asked.  
  
Snape nodded forcefully. "Forever, I swear it."  
  
A smile turned up the corners of Tom's mouth and he turned toward the fire. The circle parted to let him through and his hand closed down around the handle of the branding tool. It burned brightly as he withdrew it from the fire, the end red hot and sparkling with magic.  
  
"Fall to your knees, Severus Snape," Tom demanded, pointing to the floor with his free hand.  
  
Snape obeyed, his knees thumping painfully against the hardwood floor.  
  
"Give me your left arm," Tom said.  
  
Snape rolled up the sleeve of his cloak and held out his arm.  
  
"Watch me," Tom told him.  
  
Snape's black eyes remained glued on the brand as it loomed above his arm, then plunged mercilessly against his skin. He wanted to scream, he wanted to squeeze his eyes shut and wince in pain, but he could do nothing but stare as his skin bubbled, then healed itself, the brand black against the pale skin. The pain was unbearable, shooting streaks of heat racing up and down his arm, across his shoulders and into his head. His temples were throbbing angrily, but he still remained motionless, watching the Dark Mark fade to an angry red, then pink until it barely stood out from his skin.  
  
"You are one of us," Tom said, still smiling. "Congratulations."  
  
The Death Eater who Tom had touched earlier stepped forward and held out his hands. Snape took them and stood, wavering slightly when another blast of pain pierced his temple. The hands were strong and steadying, the smooth skin unblemished and pale. Snape held them tightly, unwilling to let them go. They were a steadying comfort in the confusion that had suddenly overwhelmed him.  
  
"Give him his robes," Tom said, his voice breaking the silence. "And make sure he knows how to Apparate to me when I call him." He waved his hand to the others. "Be off, the show is over. I will call when I need you again."  
  
The Death Eaters began to file from the room and Tom turned, then disappeared with a soft pop. He was gone and Snape was left alone in the room with the two Death Eaters who seemed to be closest to Tom's side. They were both hooded and masked, but he could see their shining eyes through the thin material. Snape could tell by their frames that one was male and the other was obviously female. It was the woman who turned and handed him a robe and a mask.   
  
"These are for you to wear to meetings," she said in a voice that nearly made Snape cringe. It was cold and sharp, and it seemed to bite down on him and take hold. He couldn't shake the feeling of her voice even after she stopped speaking.  
  
"I will let my husband show you what to do when you're called," she said and Snape's eyes immediately went to the other Death Eater in the room, then back to the woman. He hadn't noticed before, but she was pregnant, one hand on her slightly bloated stomach.  
  
With a swish of her dark robes, the woman was gone and Snape was left with the man.  
  
Neither of them said anything for a long moment, then Snape cleared his throat uncomfortably and rolled up his sleeve to look at the Dark Mark. It was barely visible, but the other man leapt forward and snapped his hand down on Snape's arm.  
  
"Don't do that Severus," he hissed angrily and Snape nearly stumbled backward.  
  
"Lucius?" he murmured.  
  
The other Death Eater sighed, then pulled off his mask and pushed the dark cloak off his shoulders. It dropped to the floor along with the mask and Snape stared, unsure of what he should do. He wanted to smile, he wanted to ask the man before him how he was doing, but he didn't dare. Not when Lucius was staring at him with a look of pure anger and fury.  
  
"What the hell did you think you were doing, Severus?" he asked, running a hand through his blonde hair to calm it. "You can't just burst in here, become a Death Eater and expect things to go back to the way they were at Hogwarts." Lucius paused, his grey eyes cutting through Snape. "I'm married now, don't you understand? That part of my life is . . . over. It's not who I am."  
  
Snape's eyes narrowed at this comment. "Well, it certainly was who you were every Thursday night for seven years in the astronomy tower. If it 'wasn't you', Lucius, why didn't you protest the first time it happened?" He paused, an angry grin making its way across his face. "Actually, as I recall, wasn't it you who initiated everything? Weren't you the one to kiss me?"  
  
"Shut up, Severus," Lucius said angrily. "You don't know what you're talking about." He grabbed Snape's wrist and pushed up the cloak once more. "When he calls you the Dark Mark will turn black and it will burn. It'll hurt, but it will hurt more if you don't show up at the meeting. Just Apparate from wherever you can, you'll be taken straight to the place our Lord is waiting for us." He dropped Snape's arm and walked toward the door, his anger apparent in every step he took.  
  
"Lucius, I didn't come here looking for you," Snape said. "It amazes me to think that you're still so self centered."  
  
"If you say a word of my past to Narcissa, I'll kill you myself," Lucius growled, ignoring Snape's comments. "You don't want to make me angry, Severus."  
  
  
End Chapter One 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two  
  
  
Narcissa Malfoy paced the inner chambers of her manor, her long legs carrying her gracefully over the plush carpets and around the bedroom she and Lucius shared. It had been nearly a month since she had attended the ceremony when Severus Snape was made a Death Eater and there had still been no meetings since. She assumed her Lord was biding time until he grew stronger and possessed more followers, but she couldn't help feeling uneasy just the same.  
  
Narcissa had been at Hogwarts with both Snape and Lucius, she hadn't know either of them well at the time, but their friendship had been obvious even to her. She wasn't a stupid woman and she was far from being considered unobservant and while she was at Hogwarts her thoughts of Lucius and Snape had run toward the more unfavourable corner of her mind. They were, quite simply, a little too fond of one another, at least that was what Narcissa had always thought. She had assumed their friendship had been more than that, that it had run deeper than the stupid and childish bonds that were usually formed in the houses. Snape and Lucius had something more.  
  
Then Lucius had began pursuing her relentlessly, only days after their graduation and Narcissa had been pleasantly surprised by the sudden attention. She had had more than her fair share of suitors while at Hogwarts, but Lucius was something different. He radiated power, he oozed sexuality and when he wanted something -- or someone -- he wouldn't rest until he had it. He had spent weeks chasing Narcissa around Hogsmeade, trying to convince her to return to the home he had inherited upon graduation. At first, she refused to even acknowledge him, she found the dating experience to be much more exhilarating when she made them work for her affections.  
  
Eventually though, Lucius had worn her down. He had worked tirelessly to convince her that he was the man for her and in time, Narcissa had found herself agreeing. He was the man for her, he was exactly the type of person she was supposed to be with. His lust for power made him stronger than any other man who had vied for her attention and that same lust would carry him to the top of the wizarding world. Narcissa vowed to be by his side when it happened.  
  
So, two months after graduation, Narcissa Abbott had become Narcissa Malfoy and two months after that she had become pregnant with their first child. She was still barely showing signs, her stomach only bulging slightly and the warm weight of the child just beginning to make her feel delighted about the world she would bring her child into. He would be a ruler, alongside his father and Lord Voldemort, when he was old enough. She had already named him. Draco Malfoy. It exuded power, just like his father's name.  
  
Narcissa had been confident in her place in the entire scheme, she had known that when the time came, she and Lucius would sit at Voldemort's right hand. She had been so sure of everything and then Severus Snape had entered the picture and shattered all the things she had believed in. The friendship between he and Lucius was obviously strained, but she knew it would only be a matter of time before things had been the way they were at Hogwarts and once more her mind wandered. Had they really been more than friends? Would it happen again if the chance presented itself? Was that Snape's ultimate plan?  
  
With a small shake of her head, Narcissa stopped her pacing and stared into the mirror over her bureau. She pushed a strand of blonde hair off her hair and studied herself carefully, judging every minor flaw to be a mark of how disgusting her husband must find her. He had barely touched her for more than a week and they hadn't made love for an entire month. Something had to be shifting and whether it was her appearance, or Severus Snape's, she wasn't sure.  
  
"A man," she scoffed to her reflection. "What would Lucius possibly want with a man when he had me?"  
  
Her reflection smiled demurely. "Do you really want that answered, Narcissa?"  
  
"I wasn't asking for an answer," she snapped angrily, then turned from the mirror. She hated when her reflection responded, the matter she loathed most about the wizarding world was the fact that her mind could answer her own questions. Reflections always seemed to be so damn smart.  
  
With one hand cradling her stomach, Narcissa moved away from the bureau to stare out the window. In the sky beyond, snow had started to fall; fluffy white flakes floating lazily through the sky to settle on the already dazzling white ground. She hated the snow. It was so pure and perfect, each flake different from all the rest, making it seem as if being different was something to be thankful for.  
  
"They're all different, but look at what they can accomplish when they stick together," her reflection mocked from behind her, quoting some ridiculous Muggle saying that she had once heard.   
  
A sneer crossed Narcissa's lips at this thought. Oh yes, to be different. To be mocked and teased, prodded and annoyed in every class. To have haunting whispers follow you down the hall when you walked from the Great Hall to your common room. How delightfully wonderful it was to be different, she thought with a trace of disgust. She had once thought that coming together before an all powerful Lord would dispel that myth from their minds. After all, they had come together to prove to themselves and others that they weren't different, they were just like everyone else. Narcissa wanted to melt into the crowd, she wanted to be another plain face, but that had never happened to her. She stood out wherever she went, tall, blonde and beautiful, a stunning face in a crowd of ugly women. She hated it, abhorred it with everything she had and yet, it had never changed.  
  
Lucius, on the other hand, thought their differences should be celebrated. He was pleased with his startling good looks and his alarmingly beautiful wife. The night after Snape had been marked as a Death Eater, Lucius had begun to talk about their days at Hogwarts and how Snape had been so unlike everyone else. Wasn't it wonderful that they had an experienced potion's maker in their midst? Wasn't it something that his best friend from school had joined them? Wasn't it something that he'd be by their side when Voldemort took over the world?  
  
Stupid man, Narcissa thought, still staring at the sky. Navy melted into black and the colour made her think of Snape. She had originally thought him a fool to assume he could get away with calling Voldemort by his given name. Yet, their Lord had laughed at this, welcomed it even. He had allowed a man who was not even a Death Eater to call him Tom Riddle, the name given to him by his Muggle father. Narcissa hadn't understood it then and she still didn't.   
  
She barely had time to turn the question over in her mind when the bedroom door banged open and Lucius charged in, his blonde hair streaming out behind him.  
  
"Lucius, darling, where have you been?" she asked. "Marly had dinner ready two hours ago," she told him, referring to the house-elf who had come with her when she moved in.  
  
"Forget dinner," he growled, taking off his cloak and hanging it in the closet. "I spent the evening with Avery, Severus and Tom. We had to think of something to-"  
  
"Tom?" Narcissa interrupted him. "Since when have you been on a first name basis with our Lord and master?"  
  
Lucius glared at her. "If you weren't carrying my child, I swear I would hit you for interrupting me."  
  
Narcissa just glared back. She knew Lucius too well to take his threats seriously. "Lucius, I was worried," she said simply.  
  
His mouth twitched into a smile. "You're never worried about me."  
  
Narcissa tossed him a wicked grin. "I never said it was you that I was worried about."  
  
"Who then?" Lucius asked playfully. "Severus?"  
  
The smile melted off Narcissa's face and she stared gravely at her husband. "Actually, yes."  
  
Lucius stopped and stared at her.   
  
"I'm worried your past with him will affect the future of your position within the ranks of the Death Eaters," she said simply.  
  
Lucius grabbed her wrist tightly and glared down at her. "Never, ever speak of my past with Severus Snape. We have no past."  
  
"You were friends," Narcissa said slowly.  
  
"We were never friends," Lucius replied, letting go of her and backing away. "I'll go see Marly for my meal."  
  
Narcissa stared after him, rubbing her wrist absentmindedly. He had reacted so strangely to her mention of Snape and their past. Maybe she wasn't completely wrong in thinking that something had gone on between them at Hogwarts. Maybe Narcissa Malfoy had good reason to be jealous.  
  
  
End Chapter Two 


	3. Chapter 3

Notes: I just had to say that, personally, I think 13 is too young to be kissing anyone, but I had to make the timeline fit. :)  
  
  
Chapter Three  
  
  
Lucius Malfoy leaned against the frosty windowsill, pressing his forehead against the glass and closing his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to sit there for hours, his body being cooled slowly by the glass, but he knew that he couldn't. He had finished eating more than a half hour ago and he was certain that Narcissa would still be awake and waiting for him. She always asked too many questions.  
  
Lucius didn't want to face her, especially so soon after his meeting with Snape and Tom Riddle. They had discussed a few things in private, mostly the potions Snape was able to make for the Death Eaters. He knew every poison and sleeping draught in the book, he knew all the truth telling serums and others that Lucius had never even heard of. Snape was quickly proving himself to be an invaluable player and Lucius was finding himself more and more pleased with his old friend every day.  
  
His grey eyes fluttered open and he stared out the window and across the grounds of his manor. Snow had been falling steadily since dusk, collecting in thick piles against the walls and in the corners of the windows. It looked pleasant from where Lucius was standing, serene almost, but his life felt further from serene than it had ever been. A man's serenity certainly didn't come easy after his old male lover re-entered his life, especially after he had married a woman. Lucius hadn't slept well since the night Snape had been christened as a new Death Eater, knowing that the man he had once convinced himself that he had been in love with was living not very far away. All he had to do was Apparate less than a mile and he would be in Snape's bedroom, staring down at him while he slept.  
  
Lucius shook his head, trying to force the thoughts from his mind. He had meant what he said to Snape the first night he'd been back. Narcissa couldn't find out about his past, that was behind him now. He wasn't . . . like that anymore, he had changed. Never mind the fact that Snape had been right about him, Lucius had been the one to initiate the relationship between them. It was a fact he had wanted to forget, a memory that he had wanted to put behind him. Life had gone on and Severus Snape had been left at Hogwarts with the rest of his memories, but somehow, the young man with black hair had managed to remind Lucius of everything he wanted to forget.  
  
The kiss . . . the dreaded kiss that had started everything . . .  
  
  
  
"Lucius, you'll get us caught," Crabbe hissed from behind the other two boys, then glanced nervously at Goyle. They weren't usually the ones to question Lucius Malfoy's reasoning, but they didn't want to be caught out of bed right before the end of their third year.   
  
"Go back then," Lucius whispered over his shoulder. "Severus and I will sneak out alone."  
  
Crabbe and Goyle exchanged a quick glance, then turned abruptly and headed back in the direction of the Slytherin common room. Lucius cast them a dark glance over his shoulder before following Snape down the hall toward the door they knew would lead them out onto the grounds. Exams were finished and the two Slytherins weren't about to spend their nights locked up in a stuffy dormitory when the night air was so warm and fresh.  
  
"Come on," Snape hissed, motioning Lucius toward him.  
  
The two thin students slipped out the small crack in the door and rushed down the stairs that led to the lawn. The grass was soft under their feet and Snape paused a moment to take off his shoes before darting quickly across the courtyard to a small grove of trees near the lake. Snape slipped between the tall fir trees and collapsed onto the ground, throwing his black cloak off his shoulders. It was far too warm for him to be wearing it and Lucius did the same a moment later.  
  
Snape didn't say anything as his friend sunk down beside him and they both stared up at the shining moon overhead. It was nearly full and it shimmered in the sky, casting a strange glow over their bodies as they lay stretched out on the grass.  
  
"I don't want to go home for the summer," Snape said suddenly and fiercely.  
  
Lucius cast him a bored glance. "Why the hell not? Rather stay here and study?" he sneered.  
  
Snape glared at him. "No, that's not it, Malfoy."  
  
"I hate when you call me Malfoy."  
  
"I know."  
  
Lucius grinned, then watched as Snape leaned back on his elbows. "So why don't you want to go home?"  
  
Snape shrugged his lean shoulders. "A number of reasons. Mostly my parents," he said, shaking his head in disgust. "Stupid Muggle father, he has no idea what goes on in this world."  
  
One corner of Lucius' mouth turned up. "Ignore him, Severus. You're above that."  
  
Snape sighed and looked upward, his black eyes glittering in the moonlight. Lucius watched him, wondering exactly when his friend had grown up. He was only thirteen, but to Lucius he looked far beyond his years. Black hair hung limply over his pale skin and he was never seen dressed in any colours. Already, even at his young age, Snape had the beginning of lines forming at the corners of his eyes. He spent too many hours squinting over a simmering potion and he would age early because of it.  
  
"What?" Snape asked suddenly, noticing Lucius' intent stare.  
  
Lucius started slightly, then rolled onto his side and continued his study. Snape shrunk slightly under his gaze, unsure of what his friend wanted. He had heard his fair share of the rumours that always seemed to spread rapidly through the school. Lucius, his best friend, was known for more than his astonishingly good looks and nearly platinum blonde hair. He was known for the . . . activities he was rumoured to perform with other Gryffindors, the snogging that went on behind closed doors with both sexes.  
  
"Lucius," Snape began, his face growing warm under his friend's gaze.   
  
"Don't talk," Lucius said quickly, reaching out to touch Snape's arm. His eyes narrowed and he studied Snape, his eyes roaming over his body. "Why did it take me three years to look at you?" he asked, as if he'd just found a great treasure.  
  
Snape's eyes widened. "What?"  
  
"Why did it take me so long to really look at you?"  
  
"Lucius, what the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"You know, Severus," Lucius said quietly. "I know you know, so don't play stupid here, okay? I also know that you're the same."  
  
"The same as what?" Snape breathed.  
  
A second later Lucius' face was too near his own, Snape could feel Lucius' breath on his skin. Their mouths were barely an inch apart, only enough room to speak without brushing their lips together.  
  
"The same as me," Lucius whispered, his hand running up Snape's arm to his shoulder.  
  
Lucius' face moved closer, his lips dangerously near to Snape's. Snape felt his heart pounding in his chest, hating the reaction his body had decided to give to his friend's close proximity. Snape was about to jump up, he was about to swear that the entire school would be awakened by his rampaging heartbeat, but the second Lucius' lips touched his own his heart stopped.  
  
He swore his heart stopped beating as Lucius kissed him gently, his lips soft and warm and terribly inviting. He was only thirteen and not half as attractive as his best friend. Snape had never been asked to the Yule Ball by an older girl, he had never met up with a housemate in an empty classroom for an experimental snog. Snape had never been kissed before and now Lucius Malfoy was pushing him gently, his teeth tugging insistently at Snape's lips.  
  
Before he knew what he was doing, Snape had raised himself off the ground to push hungrily against Lucius' mouth. He experimented with the texture of Lucius' lips for a moment before parting his own slightly to let in the tongue that was pushing against him impatiently. They remained still, Lucius' arm on Snape's shoulder, their heads tilted slightly to continue their kiss. It was only when Lucius finally broke away that Snape noticed how breathless he was.  
  
"Great Merlin," he whispered a second later.  
  
Lucius grinned. "Yeah."  
  
  
  
That had been the beginning of the closest relationship Lucius had ever had in his life. He hated himself now for doing it, he wished he could turn back time and prevent himself from ever kissing Severus Snape, regardless of how arousing he found the memory. He was married now and he was married to a woman. Lucius had convinced himself months ago that his relationship with Snape had been strictly experimental and nothing more. He had a wife to come home to, a wife who loved him, or at least pretended very well.  
  
With a deep sigh, Lucius stood and stared out the window a final time. He shifted uncomfortably, painfully aware of the reaction his memory had invoked in him. He shouldn't have allowed himself to indulge, but the current state of his body might serve some good. Lucius certainly didn't want Narcissa to think he didn't want her anymore and that was the way he had been acting over the past few weeks.  
  
Heaving another sigh, Lucius turned and began to walk toward his bedroom, his thoughts still on the first kiss he had given Snape.  
  
  
End Chapter Three 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four  
  
  
The long days dragged into weeks and weeks dragged into months as Snape worked himself to the bone on potions for Tom and Lucius. He had never imagined that being a Death Eater would result in his complete breakdown, but then, he had never even fathomed being in Tom Riddle's inner circle. Despite his ragged body, Snape pushed on, drinking Pepper Up potions every hour and bending over his cauldron for the rest of the day. He rarely slept, he just made the potions. Lucius had advised him early on that it would be unwise to miss sleep for the cause but Snape hadn't listened to him. It didn't come as a surprise to either man, for Snape had never listened to Lucius. It was only by pure luck that the two Slytherins hadn't ended up killing each other while they were at school. It amazed most of the student body that they had remained such close friends.  
  
Snape tipped a vial over the cauldron and poured in a measure of powdered Erumpent horn, then stepped back and began to time the reaction. It would take ten minutes for the concoction to boil and the moment it did Snape would have to remove it from the fire. Once the mixture had boiled for only a second it would become a potent exploding potion, able to take apart a house with just a tiny vial. It would be very useful when Tom decided to seek out those who had betrayed him, he would be able to tear them to shreds with this potion.   
  
Snape let himself slide into the single chair he kept in his basement, the only piece of furniture besides the table he used to make his potions. His body immediately melted into the fabric, his tense muscles relaxing as he closed his eyes and waited for the potion to be finished. Tom would be pleased with him, Lucius would even have to admit that he was doing something right. Even if he did pretend they had never been friends, Snape knew Lucius would admire the things he had done. He had to; they were perfect, after all.   
  
He found himself so relaxed by allowing himself to finally sit, that Snape didn't hear the soft pop that announced the arrival of another wizard. His hands moved up to his temples and he massaged them gently, realizing that he felt far too spent for a twenty year old man.   
  
Lucius stared down at Snape, watching as the other wizard massaged his temples and stifled a satisfied groan that rose in his throat. Lucius had to shut his eyes at the noise and he tried to ignore the familiarity of the scene before him, but he couldn't. He had ignored it for months, but now everything reminded him of Snape. Every detail of his day reminded him of the nights they had spent together.   
  
Lucius opened his eyes and he watched Snape massage his head and neck, the movements taking him back to a time that he kept locked away.  
  
  
  
Lucius stepped through the portrait hole and into the Slytherin common room after their final exam in their sixth year. It had been potions and if there was one class that Lucius hated more than Muggle Studies, it had to be potions. Severus Snape had finished in half an hour, of course and had left the examination room early, free to spend his day however he pleased while Lucius struggled through the final questions. Two hours later, he too was free.  
  
"I hate you," Lucius drawled, stepping up behind Snape who was sitting in one of the green armchairs.   
  
"Don't lie, Lucius," Snape said coldly. "It's not very becoming."  
  
Lucius had to smile at this, then reached around to where Snape was gently massaging his own temples. "How do you know what's becoming and what isn't?" he asked, his long fingers kneading softly into the skin near Snape's eyes. He leaned down to breath faintly across the other boy's cheek, his lips barely brushing the skin. "I suppose I could find something to do that you might find becoming on me."   
  
Snape snorted. "How old are you, Lucius? Thirteen? Let's play the sexual innuendo game, is that it?"  
  
Lucius' smile grew. "If that's what you want."  
  
"Good Lord," Snape breathed, shaking his head and brushing Lucius' hands away. "You've been skirting around this for as long as I can remember-"  
  
"Three years," Lucius said. "I kissed you at the end of third year."  
  
Snape waved a hand to show that he wasn't concerned with the dates. "As I was saying, you've been skirting around the issue of an 'us' for too long now. If you want it, Lucius, you have to stop with the others."  
  
Lucius' grin abruptly left his face and he moved around to sit in the chair across from Snape. "Is this some sort of 'talk' we're having? Trying to get me to commit?"  
  
Snape just shook his head impatiently, thankful that they were alone in the common room. "I'm stating facts, Lucius. You want me, the feeling is more than mutual, I can assure you, but I am not going to be another conquest on Lucius Malfoy's list."  
  
"Why not? Isn't my list good enough for you?"  
  
Snape had to smile, the comment amused him. "No, Lucius, your list isn't good enough for me. I have some morals left, strange as that may seem."  
  
"Morals?" Lucius asked, pretending to look confused. "What are they?"  
  
"I didn't expect you to know them," Snape responded dryly.  
  
"Come on, Severus," Lucius said. "This isn't a game anymore."  
  
"Precisely."  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's not a game," Snape said. "There are no winners and losers, yet you seem to believe that snogging as many students as possible can make you a winner. I've put up with it for this long, but if this . . . arrangement is going to go any further I have to state my ground rules."  
  
"Rules?" Lucius asked. "I thought this wasn't a game?"  
  
"Don't be ridiculous," Snape said, standing and turning away. "You know my terms, Lucius. Think on them and get back to me."  
  
  
  
And, of course, when Lucius had gone into the dormitory that night he had agreed to everything Snape had wanted. He hated how weak the black haired man could make him, but he couldn't deny the irresistible pull between the two of them. He had never been able to in school and now it was getting more difficult by the day. Spending so much time working side by side, Lucius had begun to feel the familiar burning in his gut whenever he caught Snape's eye.  
  
"Lucius," Snape murmured, shattering his thoughts. "What the bloody hell are you doing?"  
  
Lucius glanced down, startled to find himself standing behind Snape and gently massaging his temples. He froze, his grey eyes widened as he stared into Snape's face. Both men regarded each other in shock, neither of them able to move from where they were. It had been an accident, but the electricity had been undeniable. Their past was coming back to haunt them.  
  
"Sorry," Lucius said abruptly and he stepped away.  
  
Snape stood from the chair and shook his head. "It's quite alright."  
  
They fell silent again, still watching each other for some sign on what to do. Neither had any idea how to react, both wanted to fall together and continue as if they had never been apart, but neither dared. Lucius, for fear of being found out, for fear of being ridiculed by his fellow Death Eaters and losing his wife and unborn child. Snape didn't act on his urges because he feared Lucius' reaction. He didn't want to anger his old friend again, not when they had come so close to recapturing what they had once been.  
  
"I'm sorry," Lucius said again.  
  
Snape opened his mouth to respond, but a shrill whistling pierced the air and he immediately turned his attention back to the potion. Cooling the cauldron with his hand, Snape lifted it off the flame and began to attend to it immediately as Lucius looked on.  
  
Although he hated to admit it, Lucius wondered what would have happened if he had let himself so further. Would his world really come tumbling down around him if he allowed himself to indulge in one kiss, one touch? He longed to reach out and run his fingers through Snape's black hair, touching the nape of Snape's neck and drawing Snape's mouth to his own. His fingers ached to touch the familiar body, to run over the muscles he knew so well, the lines and contours that he had watched develop.  
  
Instead, Lucius watched Snape work and imagined all the things he would do if he ever allowed himself to.  
  
  
End Chapter Four 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five  
  
  
Three days after the incident when Lucius had found himself inadvertently massaging Snape's temples, Tom called a meeting for all the Death Eaters. The Malfoy Manor was crowded by early evening, most of the others had arrived by seven and Narcissa set about fussing over them and offering them drinks. One would never have been able to tell that it was a meeting of dark wizards who had promised themselves to Lord Voldemort.  
  
Of course, Snape thought darkly, watching Narcissa, one would never be able to tell that the Malfoy housewife was really an evil bitch. He watched her busy herself in the parlour, pouring drinks for random Death Eaters, holding out napkins and glasses for them. She disgusted him, scurrying about like she was a normal woman instead of a servant to a Dark Lord. What disgusted him even more was that Lucius pretended to love her, slept with her, got her pregnant and still pretended that he found her attractive.   
  
She was more than seven months pregnant now, her stomach swollen with whatever beast of a child came out of her. If the baby was a child Snape imagined she'd be exactly like Narcissa; vain and annoying from the moment he laid eyes on her. If the child was a boy he would be the exact image of Lucius; attractive but spoiled, accustomed to being given whatever he wanted.  
  
"Severus!" a voice snapped and he turned his gaze from Narcissa to find Tom staring at him.   
  
"Yes?" Snape asked carefully.  
  
"It's time to start the meeting if you would kindly tear your eyes away from Lucius' wife."  
  
Quiet laughter rippled through the group and Snape pressed his mouth into a thin, angry line. Tom just smiled at him, then returned his attention to the entire group. He began to speak, but Snape tuned him out, his black eyes falling first on Narcissa's smug face, then Lucius' passive one. He found it hard to imagine that they had any sort of real relationship, especially now that Narcissa was twice her normal size and far less attractive than normal . . . if Lucius had ever really found her attractive at all.  
  
Snape found himself studying Lucius carefully, taking it everything there was to take in about the man. He was beyond handsome, Snape had decided that long ago. There was something about Lucius, something more than the other students had ever had inside of them. It wasn't the shining hair or the clear, grey eyes, nor was it the chiselled features and perfectly pale skin. That was definitely part of it but there was something more, something cocky and knowledgeable behind his eyes. Snape both hated and desired that look; he hated knowing Narcissa saw it every night before she slept and desired to have Lucius turn those grey eyes on him.  
  
"Severus," Tom said again, turning green eyes on the other man. "Do you have any news regarding your potions?"  
  
Snape glanced at him and blinked. "I'm sorry?"  
  
Tom narrowed his eyes and whipped out his wand. "Crucio."  
  
It took Snape's mind a moment to register what was happening to his body. He dropped from his chair, his forehead slamming into the carpeted floor and his vision swam. Before he could prevent it a scream bubbled up in his throat and spilled over his lips, piercing the stunned silence of the room. Without realizing what he was doing, Snape grasped at the carpet, his fingers twisting in the soft material. He pressed his face against the floor, his body wracked with an unbearable pain and he screamed again.  
  
When the room was silent once more Tom smiled. "Perhaps that will teach you to pay attention, Severus."  
  
Snape nodded into the floor.  
  
"Get up," Tom snapped. "Get to your feet and tell me your news of your potions."  
  
Snape stood slowly, his legs shaking as he grasped at the arm of a chair.   
  
"Stand up," Tom said harshly. "Now."  
  
Snape let go of the arm chair and stood, still trembling with the after effects of the curse. "The explosive Erumpent potion is perfect," he said hoarsely. "Another batch should be ready tomorrow." He breathed in deeply, his breath coming out in ragged gasps. "You'll be able to test it by the weekend."  
  
"Perfect," Tom said, smiling dangerously. "You may go."  
  
Snape turned and stumbled from the room, not knowing where he was going but certain that he had to get out of the room before he collapsed again. He made it halfway down the hall and up four stairs before his legs gave out and he came crashing down to his knees. His hand grasped uselessly for the banister before he submitted himself to the fall and he braced himself for the hard wood of the floor.  
  
His head cracked against the edge of a stair and he moaned, the sound muffled by his arm throw over his face.  
  
"Look at you," a voice hissed near his ear and a moment later, Snape felt himself being lifted back to his feet.  
  
Lucius was holding him steady, staring at him with a mix of anger and concern.  
  
"Let's get you upstairs," he said, then dragged Snape along behind him. They stumbled up the stairs together and down the hall toward a bathroom. Lucius dumped Snape on the ledge of the enormous bathtub, then slammed the door and locked it with his wand.  
  
"You have got to be the stupidest man I have ever met," he hissed angrily. "Don't you know what he can do to you?"  
  
Snape stared blearily at Lucius. "I never thought that . . ."  
  
"Never mind what you thought," Lucius snapped. He looked flustered, far more angry and far less composed than Snape had ever seen him before. "Tom is dangerous, Severus. He's far more powerful than you and I. Don't make him do that to you again."  
  
Snape just nodded as Lucius moved toward the bathtub and turned on the taps. Hot water gushed out of them, a sweet smell filling the air quickly.  
  
"Get undressed and get it," Lucius snapped.  
  
Snape stared at him.  
  
Lucius sighed impatiently. "It's a healing water, you'll feel better."  
  
Snape nodded, still not completely coherent and began to remove his robes. His mind snapped back into sharp reality when he realized that Lucius wasn't looking away. Soon enough he'd be completely naked before the man who had once been his lover, the man he hadn't touched in years.  
  
"Turn around, Lucius," Snape said softly.  
  
Lucius blinked, then sneered at him and turned his back toward him.   
  
Snape quickly finished undressed and slipped into the hot bath, finding that it immediately soothed him. His head felt cleared and the pain in his body was swiftly diluted. He breathed a contented sigh of relief and leaned his head against the cool stone with his eyes closed.  
  
"Better?" Lucius asked.  
  
Snape opened his eyes and nodded. "Very much."  
  
"You have to be more careful, Severus. Tom's a powerful man and he'll do whatever it takes to reach the top."  
  
"And I suppose you'll be right there with him when he reaches the top."  
  
Lucius narrowed his eyes. "Why do you insist on causing trouble?"  
  
Snape glanced at him. "Me?"  
  
"Yes, you."  
  
"What kind of trouble?"  
  
"The kind where we end up in a steamy bathroom and one of us is undressed," Lucius said softly.  
  
Snape stared at him, not sure he had actually heard the words coming from Lucius' mouth. That certainly wasn't the answer he had been expecting, not by a long shot.  
  
"As I recall, you asked me to get undressed," Snape pointed out.  
  
Lucius turned away once more. "If you feel better get out and dry yourself off, then I'll take care of that nasty cut on your head."  
  
Snape sighed deeply, completely confused by the abrupt direction changes their conversation was taking. One minute they were fighting, the next Lucius seemed uncomfortable and now he was off in another world. Snape stepped out of the bath and grabbed a nearby towel, drying his body quickly and stepping back into his clothing. He didn't want to dwell on whatever was happening between them, he just wanted to get dressed and get out.  
  
"You're still bleeding," Lucius said as Snape stepped toward the door.  
  
"I'll take care of it," Snape said.  
  
Lucius growled in his throat. "Stop being so stubborn and come here."  
  
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Snape asked.  
  
Lucius glared at him and pointed to the floor in front him. Snape rolled his eyes, but walked across the room to stand a few feet away from the blonde. They stared at each other for a long moment then Lucius picked up a wet towel and dabbed it gently against Snape's forehead where he had hit the stair. Snape winced involuntarily, but let Lucius continue to clean the wound of the dried blood. Lucius' cool hand reached for his forehead, brushing back the dark hair that hung in Snape's face. The towel brushed gently over his skin, Lucius' hand still holding Snape's hair back.  
  
"There. Now you're presentable, at least," Lucius said.  
  
Snape stared at him. There were standing unbearably close to each other, the wet towel still resting gently against his face and Lucius' hand still in his hair. It was awkward and wonderful all at the same time, like they were frightened children again, fumbling self consciously toward each other in the dark. Snape's hand found it's way to Lucius' waist, pushing back the thick robes to rest gently against the thin material of his shirt. His fingers were trembling and he wanted to stop them but he couldn't. He couldn't stop himself as he let his face move closer to Lucius', their lips almost touching.  
  
"I miss this," Lucius whispered before pressing his lips gently against Snape's.   
  
Snape nearly choked, felt tears well up in his eyes and forced them back down. The feel of Lucius was so familiar, so right that he was immediately taken back to school when they had been together. Back to when they had been in love.  
  
The warm lips and wet tongue were heaven, a taste of everything he had missed over the past year, working alone in his potions and ignoring the heated tension between them. The hand holding the towel dropped to Snape's waist, pulling him closer. The hand in his hair tangled deeper in the strands, clinging tightly as if letting go would be the end of them both.  
  
In that moment Snape really felt that it would be the end of them. If he had to stop the kiss, if he ever had to face the world again without Lucius by his side, he felt as if he would die. They were meant to be together, that was the only answer to the feelings rising up inside him.  
  
Lucius broke the kiss suddenly, breathing hard and staring into Snape's eyes.  
  
"I miss this," he said again, then bent to claim Snape's mouth once more.  
  
  
End Chapter Five 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six  
  
  
Narcissa Malfoy glanced at the clock in her study for the third time that evening and let out another annoyed sigh. The hand on the clock that read 'Lucius' was still pointed to 'Home', but she hadn't been able to find him in any of the rooms on the upper floors of their house and she was beginning to get very frustrated. The were supposed to be hosting a dinner party that night, Tom was going to be there and he had told Narcissa that he wanted everything to be perfect. Apparently, their Dark Lord had a very important announcement to make that night and she wasn't going to miss it regardless of what her husband did.  
  
"Probably off snogging Severus somewhere," she muttered angrily, then sat heavily on the couch in her study. Her entire body ached from carrying around the weight of her pregnancy and she was just about ready to force a wizard doctor into magically inducing birth if the little bastard inside of her didn't come out soon. Months earlier she had been ecstatic about the child, but now her body and mind were beginning to rebel. She wanted to be rid of the burden.  
  
Being pregnant wasn't exactly Narcissa's idea of a good time, especially not after she had pledged her loyalty to a Dark Lord who was about to start a war. She might be pregnant, but she wanted to be a part of that war, whether or not her darling husband liked it.  
  
"Tom is going to be here within the hour and he's still nowhere to be found," she hissed to herself, standing up again and beginning to pace the room. Pacing relieved the tension in her body, it made her feel as if she was doing something when, in fact, she was still doing absolutely nothing.  
  
"Master Lucius is in the upper towers, ma'am," a small voice said from the doorway.  
  
Narcissa turned to see her house-elf Marly cowering nearby. The tiny elf was dirty and her robe was tattered and worn. Narcissa hadn't taken proper care of her since coming to live in the Malfoy Manor.  
  
"Where?" she asked, ignoring the inner nagging about Marly's thin demeanor. The elf could eat when she wanted.  
  
"Upper towers," Marly repeated, her voice soft and frightened. "Marly saw Master Lucius take Master Severus up-" her eyes grew wide and she slapped both of her thin hands over her mouth. "Marly promised not to tell!" she wailed suddenly, then ran from the room and down the stairs.  
  
Narcissa's eyes narrowed as she watched the house-elf go. So Lucius had taken Snape up the towers for a mid-afternoon shag, she had been right about it all along. He had abandoned not only his pregnant wife, but the Cause as well. Nothing mattered to him anymore, nothing mattered but Snape. Her hands twitched angrily as she thought about this, her mind made it's decision within seconds. She would go find them and they would both pay for their betrayal. She would find them and made them see the error of their ways. Lucius and Snape wouldn't get away with abandoning their duties for each other.  
  
Narcissa Malfoy would make sure of it. She grabbed her wand off a near by table, then stalked angrily from the room and toward the upper towers.  
  
  
* * * *  
  
  
Snape stretched his arms over his head and stared at the tower ceiling. Far above him in the rafters he could see a bird's nest, pieces of grass and straw were spilling over on either side and the entire nest looked about ready to topple to the ground. In a rare moment of happiness, Snape allowed his mind to wander, wondering when the bird's nest had been made and what had been going on in the Malfoy Manor at that point in time. Had Lucius been just a child when the birds had found a way into the north tower of his home? Had he even been born yet, or had his father still been a baby?   
  
"What are you thinking about?" Lucius asked.  
  
Snape glanced over at him. "I don't know, really."  
  
A smile danced on the corner's of Lucius' mouth. "Severus Snape doesn't know what he's thinking? That is the most surprising thing I have ever heard you say."  
  
Snape snorted and turned away, his black eyes following the rafters in search of any other timeless creations. There was nothing else in his line of sight, just bare, empty rafters that revealed nothing about the people who had lived in this house.  
  
"Has your family always lived here?" Snape asked.  
  
Lucius grunted. "Of course."  
  
"Has there always been a bedroom in this tower?"  
  
This time Lucius chuckled into his pillow. "Always."  
  
"For occasions such as this?"  
  
Another laugh came from the young blonde. "I doubt my father ever imagined there would be two men making use of the secret bedrooms, but yes, for occasions . . . similar to this."  
  
Snape allowed himself to relax into a smile.  
  
"Why all these questions?" Lucius asked, turning toward Snape and propping himself up on one elbow.   
  
Snape sighed deeply. "Would you be upset if I were to admit that this feels strange?"  
  
"Why would this feel strange?"  
  
"Because we're been apart for so long and yet we're attempting to pick up right where we left off."  
  
Lucius arched an eyebrow. "We haven't been apart for that long, Severus. Less than a year, really."  
  
"Yes, well, you're also married now and expecting a child."  
  
Lucius sighed. "It complicates things, I'll admit, but Narcissa never needs to know."  
  
Snape closed his eyes. "And I remain in the darkness of the shadows."  
  
They both fell silent and Lucius rolled back onto his back. He knew it was unfair to ask Snape to keep their relationship a secret, but he wouldn't think of any other way. He loved Snape, there was no denying that they had a long and complicated history, but Lucius had ruined any chance they would have together by marrying Narcissa.  
  
"Tom is coming tonight," Lucius said.  
  
A deep shudder ran through Snape's body.  
  
"I know he frightens you," Lucius said, turning back once more. "He frightens us all with his power, but you know it's for the best. When he's ruler we'll all be treated like kings."  
  
Snape nodded. "Of course."  
  
"Perhaps we should get dressed and prepare for the party tonight," Lucius suggested, throwing the covers off the bed and standing up. "Tom told me that he has an announcement to make."  
  
"About what?" Snape asked, as he shrugged his shoulders into his shirt and began to button it.  
  
"I would suppose it's about the Potters," Lucius said casually.  
  
Snape blinked, but said nothing and continued to dress. The Potters had been with Lucius and Snape at Hogwarts and now they were fierce fighters against the Dark Lord. They had put their lives on the line time and again and Tom wanted them wiped out before they could do any more damage. He wanted Lily and James murdered before Lily could give birth to the child she was carrying, the child that Tom feared would be brought up to kill him.  
  
"Do you suppose he's found where they're hiding?" Snape asked. He had never liked James in all the time they were at Hogwarts and he had liked Lily even less. To be rid of them both, and whatever sickening child they would have, would be a blessing.  
  
Lucius shook his head. "I don't think so." He turned toward Snape. "I think Lily gave birth."  
  
Snape fumbled with his belt buckle at these words. "No."  
  
Lucius nodded. "The little monster has to be destroyed before he grows big enough to know about Tom and the Death Eaters. Lily and James are going to make sure he hates us as much as they do and that is a very dangerous hatred."  
  
Snape stared at the other man blankly and shook his head. It couldn't be true. Their child was the one thing Tom had spoken of with the slightest tremble in his voice. Their Dark Lord was afraid of nothing but that tiny child and that had to mean something. The baby would be very powerful.  
  
"Severus," Lucius said, stepping around the bed and reaching toward him. "It'll be fine. Tom will find the child and we'll have him killed before he can do anything. He's still just a baby and it will be a long time before he'll be old enough to fight back."  
  
Snape nodded. "Of course."  
  
Lucius smiled and reached for Snape's shirt buttons. He finished buttoning the white shirt for him, then reached to the foot of the bed and tossed Snape his coat. As Snape pushed the thick black buttons through the button holes, Lucius leaned forward and kissed him softly.  
  
"Tom won't let a child destroy him," he promised, his fingers pressing lightly into Snape's sides. "I swear it to you."  
  
Snape nodded and leaned forward for another kiss.  
  
It was then that Narcissa burst through the door, wand in hand.  
  
"I knew it," she hissed, staring at them both. "I knew something wasn't right. My husband the womanizer couldn't even be enticed to my bed."  
  
Snape kept his mouth shut, knowing anything he said could set her off.  
  
"Narcissa," Lucius began, but she pointed her wand at him and advanced quickly.  
  
"Don't you say a word," she growled. "Not a god damn word. You can't lie, I saw it. I saw you kiss him and I saw you enjoy it. You're in love with him, aren't you?"  
  
Lucius said nothing and Snape held his breath.  
  
"Admit it," she screamed, poking her wand hard into Lucius' chest. "You're in love with Severus Snape. You always have been."  
  
They stared at each other, husband and wife lost a battle that Snape had caused by loving someone that he couldn't have. Grey eyes pierced into cold blue orbs, their gazes locked on one another, both waiting for the answer they knew had to come. Snape knew Lucius would lie to her, he would tell Narcissa that their relationship meant nothing to either of them. He closed his eyes and braced himself for the pain.  
  
"Yes," Lucius said finally.  
  
Snape's black eyes snapped open and he stared, completely speechless.  
  
"I've been in love with Severus for a very long time, Narcissa."  
  
"But you married me," she said, the anger and strength suddenly gone from her voice.  
  
"I needed to," Lucius told her. "I'm sorry."  
  
"You were supposed to lie," she breathed.  
  
Lucius glanced at Snape. "I tried once already, before graduation I lied to myself."  
  
Snape looked away quickly, feeling as if he were intruding on this very private moment.   
  
Narcissa opened her mouth to say something, but she drew in a deep gasp and pressed her hand against her stomach. "He's coming," she breathed, grabbing Lucius' hand.  
  
Lucius' eyes went to Snape. "Can you deal with the meeting?"  
  
Snape nodded. "Of course."  
  
"Good," Lucius said, then reached down and picked up his wife. In seconds he was gone from the tower and Snape sighed. The next time he saw Lucius he would have a child and in that moment, Snape was sure he was about to be brushed aside for the second time in their relationship.  
  
  
End Chapter Six 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven  
  
  
Tom Riddle stared over his group of Death Eater's, noting Lucius' absence to be with his wife while she gave birth. The doctor had arrived earlier, before the meeting had been called to order, and he had been shown upstairs by the tiny house-elf that Lucius let Narcissa keep around. Her pained screams hadn't been heard for a long while and Tom wondered with a smile if the doctor had put a silencing charm on the room. The doctor had seen the robes, he would know what the meeting was about and he had quite obviously taken it upon himself to make sure the birth did not disrupt the meeting. Tom would have to make sure he thanked the doctor for his efforts.  
  
Severus Snape was standing nearby looking extremely nervous, which wasn't one of the few emotions Tom often saw on his face. Snape wasn't a nervous man by nature, he was barely twenty years old but he had already mastered the art of appearing completely uninterested in everything. To see the young Death Eater fidgeting with the sleeves of his robe appeared out of character, but Tom had a pretty good idea what he was nervous about. Somewhere, in a bedroom upstairs, Snape's lover was witnessing the birth of his first child. That child could push Snape completely out of the picture and he knew it. Tom was just waiting for that to happen and he could rush in to pick up the broken pieces. If Lucius betrayed Snape again Tom would be able to turn him into his most powerful follower just by being his friend.  
  
A smile crossed Tom's lips, then he clapped his hands together once and waited for the others to stop talking to turn toward him.   
  
"You are all here tonight because I have received some rather distressing news," Tom began, surveying the room carefully. "It appears that the Potters remain will hidden and that their new child had been born under this protective spell."  
  
A low murmur rippled through the crowd and Tom saw Snape stiffen out of the corner of his eye.   
  
"They're calling him Harry," he continued, his lip curling up in disgust. "Harry Potter. Is that name supposed to strike fear in the heart of the most powerful wizard in the world?"  
  
The Death Eaters chuckled appropriately and Tom smiled. He had trained them so very well and most of them would follow him to the grave if it came to that.  
  
"Harry Potter," he said again. "A mere child who will be taught to loathe me because of the things I've done. A tiny baby who will be brought up to kill me because of the people I've killed. I am still waiting!" he shouted, suddenly angry.  
  
The crowd jumped and another murmur went through them at this.  
  
Tom pushed past two of the Death Eaters near the front and made his way through the crowd. He snaked between people, moving closer to them than they would have liked, letting them feel the power that radiated off his body. He wanted them to be frightened, he wanted them to understand how angry he was.  
  
"I am still waiting for someone to bring me their secret keeper," he said in a very low voice. "I have been made countless promises, each more ridiculous than the last. If you can't find me a simple secret keeper how can I expect you all to help me take over this world?" He turned away from them in disgust and pushed his way back through the crowd. "You need to prove yourselves to me, I need some sort of assurance that you all are still willing to do whatever it takes to bring us to power!"  
  
"Anything!" one woman screamed from the crowd and Tom smiled at her.  
  
"I have a surprise," he told them. "Bring them in," he said, crooking his finger at a man who stood near the door.  
  
Snape frowned, watching the doorway and waiting for Tom's surprise to appear. He didn't like the turn the meeting had taken and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what assurance Tom would need of their loyalties. They were loyal, they were working themselves to the bone to try and find him the Potters, wasn't that enough for him?  
  
Snape bit back the exclamation on his tongue when a group of dirty and ragged looked men and women were marched into the room. They were tied at the wrists and gagged, each of them looking weary and spent. They walked through the room until they were standing directly in front of Tom who motioned for them to stop. The look of fear on their faces was unmistakable, they were utterly terrified and they had good reason to be.  
  
"Avery," Tom snapped, motioning to one of the men in the front. "Give me your wand."  
  
Avery nodded and handed his wand over to Tom, waiting patiently to see what his Lord would do to the people before him.  
  
"Pick one of the mudbloods," Tom demanded.  
  
Avery frowned slightly, but nodded and went over to the group. He came back a moment later with a young woman. She was trembling in his grasp, her breath coming out in frightened gasps around her gag.   
  
"Kill her," Tom said casually.  
  
Snape's eyes fluttered shut as the reality of the situation finally sunk in. To prove their loyalty they would have to kill a mudblood without using their wand. They would have to use their hands and strangle the life right out of them. Their blood would spill in the Malfoy home and stain the floor, remaining there for everyone to see that someone had died there.  
  
Avery swallowed hard and glanced at Tom. They might have been Death Eaters, willing to take any life with their wand, but not a single one of them had killed with their bare hands.  
  
"Kill her," Tom repeated. "Don't make me say it again."  
  
Avery's mouth opened as if to say something, but no sounds came forward. Instead, his thin hands came up and wrapped around the girl's pale throat. She whimpered behind her gag and tried to back away, but the Death Eater's behind her pushed her forward into Avery's hands. He grasped her tightly, his face a mixture of emotion. Snape watched as he tightened his grip, cutting off the air that rushed to her lungs. The girl stiffened and tried to tear his hands away, but his grip was too strong for her.  
  
Her death was slow and silent, nothing like the others had expected. The first one should have screamed, the death should have generated the energy in the room and made it easier for the others to perform their task. Instead it weighed down upon them, making the others uneasy and uncertain.   
  
Tom refused to relent and one by one the mudbloods were murdered. Snape kept track, counting fourteen over the course of the hour; ten females and four males. There were many more yet to go and he dreaded each and every time Tom called a name. Soon enough he would be expected to commit murder and Snape wasn't sure he would be able to do it. These people hadn't done anything to him and he wasn't willing to wrap his fingers around the throat if an innocent. He just made potions, that was his job. He wasn't a murderer.  
  
Seventeen, eighteen, he counted every body that went down onto the floor. They littered the room, young and old being left where they fell, their wrists still bound even in death. It was a horrible sight, one Snape found himself barely able to look at but he forced his eyes to remain on the meeting. If he looked away or wretched in disgust there was no telling what Tom might do to him. He had already seen the Cruciatus curse used seven times that night when a Death Eater had faltered before the murder they were to perform and he didn't want the eighth time to be his.  
  
"Severus," Tom said finally and Snape felt his breath catch in his throat. He was mean but he wasn't a killer. He couldn't do it, he wouldn't be able to do it.  
  
"Pick one," Tom ordered.  
  
Snape moved forward mechanically and walked into the group of sobbing people. His hand closed down on the shoulder of one without even looking and he dragged her back toward the front of the group.   
  
"Kill her."  
  
His eyes met hers, black on black and he stepped back, startled at the color. She was fair and thin, her dark hair tumbling down her back in curls and her eyes darting nervously. She was beautiful, a stunning creature with eyes blacker than his own. Snape had never seen eyes blacker than his own.  
  
"Kill her," Tom repeated.  
  
Slowly his hands went to her throat and closed around it. He swallowed hard and begged for forgiveness through his eyes. If she saw it she made no effort to understand or accept it, she just stared back.  
  
Snape felt a shudder of disgust run through him and his breath came out in short, frightened gasps, but he tightened his hands more. Maybe he could break her neck, maybe he would be able to make it quick. He would have to decide soon or he would be the next Death Eater screaming in agony.  
  
He bit his lip and tightened his grip.  
  
"Draco!"   
  
The Death Eaters turned and Snape dropped his victim, turning to see Lucius standing on the stairs with a tiny child in his arms.   
  
"I have a son!" he exclaimed, his eyes searching for Snape and finally finding him. "I have a baby son and his name is Draco."  
  
Tom waved his hand and the remaining mudbloods were taken from the room. "I think this meeting is over. Go home."  
  
Snape felt his heart leap thankfully and he went to the foot of the stairs. Lucius walked down to meet him and they both stared at the tiny boy in his arms.   
  
"Draco," Snape murmured, watching as the child's grey eyes opened. "You saved me from having to do something I'd regret for the rest of my life," he said softly.  
  
Lucius nodded and glanced toward Tom who had begun to leave the room.  
  
"I know," he whispered. "I waited until your name was called."  
  
Snape glanced up at him.  
  
Lucius smiled. "I couldn't let you do that."  
  
"You would have done it," Snape said simply.  
  
Lucius nodded. "I would have. But you don't have it in you."  
  
"Thank you," Snape murmured.  
  
"Go home and get some sleep," Lucius said, looking back toward the child in his arms. "I will see you tomorrow." He leaned over and kissed Snape fiercely, taking the other man completely off guard. "This doesn't change a thing," he hissed, then turned and walked back up the stairs.  
  
Snape stood alone for a long moment, staring at the corpses that now littered the room.  
  
"The birth might not change anything, Lucius," he murmured, "but this does."  
  
  
End Chapter Seven 


	8. Chapter 8

A chapter for Milla, since she was oh-so-hopeful earlier. :D Enjoy, darling.  
  
Chapter Eight  
  
  
The child grew under the watchful eye of three adults, each careful not to let on to anyone that their lives weren't as ordinary as others might believe. After Draco's birth, Narcissa moved herself and her son to another bedroom in the manor, leaving Lucius and Snape to be together whenever they wanted. She didn't like it, she didn't agree with it, but she seemed to know there was no use arguing against it. Most of her time was now spent with her baby, coddling him and dragging him around the house on her daily activities, explaining to him about Tom and the rest of the Death Eaters. He wasn't old enough to understand, of course, but that didn't stop Narcissa's daily explanations to her son.  
  
"Tonight, darling, we're having another meeting," Narcissa murmured as she sashayed into the dining room with the four month old on her hip. "You'll be able to see Tom again and he'll explain everything to you."  
  
Snape glanced up at her as she walked past him and sat Draco in a highchair down the table from him. He had begun taking his meals at the Malfoy manor and concocting his potions in the basement laboratory Lucius' father had built years ago. It made things both easier and more difficult at the same time. While he had everything at his fingertips - including Lucius - he now also had to deal with Narcissa twenty four hours a day.   
  
"Potion done?" she asked shortly.  
  
Snape's eyes went to her again and he nodded.  
  
"Good."  
  
He raised an eyebrow at her, but continued eating without saying anything else.  
  
"Do you never speak?"  
  
His black eyes slid to her a third time. "I fail to see the point of speaking with you."  
  
Narcissa's eyes narrowed. "We're both Death Eaters," she said. "Is that not reason enough?"  
  
Snape almost smiled. "We were never friends, Narcissa. Why would we try to become friends now?"  
  
"I am not suggesting that we become . . . friends, as you put it, Severus." She fastened a bib around Draco's neck and motioned for a nearby house-elf to begin feeding her son. "I only meant that perhaps we should put our differences aside for the sake of the Cause."  
  
Snape resisted the biting comment on his tongue about 'the Cause' and simply nodded. "Perhaps."  
  
Narcissa's mouth tightened into a thin line and she glared at him. Snape continued eating, pausing only to reach for his mug. It startled him when Narcissa lunged forward and slapped the mug from his hand. Butterbeer sprayed across the table and the house-elf squeaked before grabbing a cloth and beginning to mop up the mess.  
  
"Don't think for even a second that you've won," she hissed, her face near his. "He is still my husband and he will remain my husband until you're finally out of the picture." A venomous smile crossed her lips. "And trust me, Severus, you will leave this home eventually. I'll die before you take my place in this house."  
  
Snape just stared ahead, keeping his simmering anger in check. He wouldn't bother with her, especially not with the child so close by. He waited until Narcissa had moved away, a smug smile now in place of the poisonous one she'd been wearing only moments before. She thought she would win, did she?   
  
Snape smiled slightly and continued eating his meal. He wondered if Narcissa would be so sure of herself when the time came for Lucius to chose someone to help rule by his side. Severus Snape, Lucius Malfoy and Tom Riddle would be kings and Narcissa would be nowhere to be found.  
  
"Severus," Lucius spoke from the doorway and Snape turned slightly to look at him.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Tom wants us."  
  
Snape frowned. "Now?"  
  
Lucius nodded. "Yes now. Get up and come with me."  
  
Narcissa leapt up from her chair and grabbed Draco. "What does he need us for?"  
  
Lucius glanced at her, then came further into the room and put his hand on Snape's arm, using it to guide him from the chair.   
  
"Just the two of us," he said softly, then turned and began to lead Snape from the room.  
  
Narcissa glared after the two of them and Snape turned just enough to let her see the slightly self-righteous smile on his own lips. The woman would never win.  
  
  
* * * *  
  
  
Excitement buzzed through the manor that night as they prepared for Tom's arrival. The Death Eaters had gathered early that evening after Lucius and Snape had summoned them after speaking with Tom in the late afternoon. He hadn't explained very much to them, only that he had very important news and that someone in their midst would be very fortunate that night. Although Snape thought it was unlikely that someone had found the Potters' Secret Keeper, it wasn't completely impossible.  
  
Narcissa carried Draco into the main room only minutes before Tom was supposed to arrive and settled herself contentedly on the couch beside Lucius. He cast a long glance at her, but remained silent as Snape watched on from his post near the stairs. He'd taken to standing there during meetings long ago and had never taken a seat since, but that night he wished he hadn't given himself such a position. He wanted to be beside Lucius, between the two of them so that Narcissa's shoulder didn't brush against Lucius' like it was whenever she moved.   
  
He hated her.  
  
Snape was concentrating so hard on every contact that Lucius and Narcissa made, he didn't hear Tom Apparate into the back room and step into the crowd. He didn't even notice their leader until Tom cleared his throat impatiently and gestured for the crowd to lower their voices.  
  
"Good evening," he began, turning his gaze first to Snape and then to Lucius. "As most of you know already I've called you all here for a special announcement." A smile lit up his handsome face. "I have news that will change the way we work, they way we live."  
  
He stepped into the crowd, then turned back toward the door he come through with his wand outstretched. Another smile passed over his face and with a flick of his wrist an unconscious man floated into the room.  
  
Snape felt his throat tighten in hatred. It was Sirius Black.  
  
"This," Tom said, gesturing to Sirius, "is their Secret Keeper."  
  
Snape's eyes widened and he felt his heart quicken. It had to be a lie, using Sirius was too obvious; he had been James' best friend. There was no way Sirius Black could be the Secret Keeper for James and Lily, it was just too simple.   
  
"He denies it, of course," Tom continued, lowering Sirius' body to the floor and leaving him there. "I expected him to lie. He's brave, but there's only so much torture one body can withstand."  
  
Tom walked back over to where Sirius lay and whispered a quick charm to revive the young man. It took Sirius a moment to understand what had happened, but when he realized where he was and who was standing over him he stood quickly.  
  
"Voldemort," he murmured. "Is that your name? Are you the great and powerful wizard the entire world is talking about?"  
  
A smile twitched on Tom's lips and Snape backed away, horrified. He'd never liked Sirius Black, in fact he still hated the bastard, but he didn't wish the kind of torture that Tom would perform on anyone. With a start, Snape realized he didn't want Sirius to reveal anything to Tom, he didn't want Tom to find out where the Potters were staying. It startled him so much that he nearly sat down heavily on the stairs behind him, but his hand remained on the railing, gripping it tightly and holding him up.  
  
When had he changed his mind so vehemently about the murder of the Potters? Only months ago he had wanted Lily and James both dead, their smoking bodies at his feet as proof that they were gone forever and now . . . now all he wanted was to stop Sirius was opening his mouth and revealing their location. They didn't have to die, Tom could gain power without killing them and he could kill their child when he finally came face to face with him. But to kill him as a child . . . that just wasn't right.  
  
"Sirius Black," Tom said, the smile still on his lips. "The Secret Keeper for Lily and James Potter. How wonderful it is to finally meet you."  
  
Sirius' dark eyes narrowed, but he said nothing.  
  
"Don't you want to be introduced to the whole gang?" Tom asked, his grin growing wider. He waved a hand toward Snape and Sirius' gaze followed. "I'm sure you know Severus Snape."  
  
A sneer passed over Sirius' face. "I should have known," he growled. "Couldn't make it anywhere without your boyfriend, could you?" he asked, gesturing at Lucius.  
  
Snape bit his lip and adopted his trademark glare, but remained silent.  
  
"You disgust me," Sirius spat.  
  
Tom snapped his fingers and Sirius' head snapped back forward, his dark eyes still turned to Snape but his body facing Tom once more.   
  
"Where are they?" he asked, getting straight to the point.  
  
"I don't know," Sirius said, his eyes finally leaving Snape's face. "I'm not their Secret Keeper."  
  
Tom arched an eyebrow. "Really?"  
  
"Really."  
  
"Well, then . . . say I entertain this claim of yours," Tom said. "Who is their Secret Keeper?"  
  
"I don't know," Sirius said sharply. "Why would anyone tell me?"  
  
"You're James' best friend," Lucius said. "Why wouldn't they?"  
  
"Because something like this was bound to happen eventually," he said. "They're not stupid, you know. The less I know, the less I can tell if I'm being tortured."  
  
Tom nodded sagely. "That's a very good point. But I think you know much more than you're letting on, so let's just try a little torture and find out."  
  
Snape watched as Tom raised his wand and murmured, "Crucio". Sirius was strong, but he couldn't withstand the curse for long. His knees slammed into the wooden floor and a hoarse cry escaped his lips as he went down, his fists coming to either side of his head. He collapsed on his side, one of his hands striking his temple hard in an attempt to make the pain go away.  
  
Snape watched sadly, knowing there was nothing Sirius could do to make the pain stop. It would only be a matter of time before Tom knew where the Potters were staying and in days they would all be dead.   
  
With a sigh, Snape turned from the scene, trudging slowly and silently up the stairs. He couldn't watch it, couldn't wait around knowing that Tom would be killing a baby because of the things Sirius Black would reveal to him. Snape hoped that Sirius was stronger than he looked because the longer he held the information inside, the longer that child had to live.  
  
Snape found Lucius' bedroom without even looking and pushed open the heavy wooden door. He stumbled into the dark room, hands reaching out blindly for the bed posts. All he wanted was to sleep, to collapse onto the silk sheets and let his unconscious mind take over. He didn't want to have to deal with the millions of thoughts that were rushing through his head. He was a Death Eater, he was supposed to want Tom to rule and to kill all those who opposed him. He wasn't supposed to feel sorry for the faceless child who was about to be ruthlessly murdered, or the people he had hated during school.  
  
A pained scream pierced the dark of Lucius' bedroom and Snape cringed. He wasn't supposed to feel sorry for Sirius Black, of all people. He curled up on the bed, tucking a pillow under his chin and staring blankly out the window. He didn't want to think anymore.  
  
Less than an hour later Lucius appeared in the doorway, his frame silhouetted in the light that poured in from the hall.  
  
"Severus," he murmured, entering the room and walking over to the bed. "Why did you leave?"  
  
Snape's eyes fluttered from the window to land on Lucius' face. "I couldn't watch anymore."  
  
Lucius sunk down onto the bed and pressed his cool hand against Snape's forehead. "It's so hard for you," he stared.  
  
Snape nodded and sighed. "We have to leave."  
  
Lucius frowned. "What do you mean?"  
  
"We have to hide," Snape said, hating the words as they spilled from his mouth. "I can't be a Death Eater anymore, but you have to come with me. We'll take Draco and we'll find somewhere else to live, some where he can't touch us."  
  
Lucius blinked, then took his hand away from Snape and glanced away. "I can't leave."  
  
"He'll end up getting you killed," Snape said sharply.  
  
"I'll rule alongside him."  
  
Snape sat up in the bed and shook his head. "He'll kill you, Lucius. I see it in his eyes, he'll kill us all before he lets anyone rule alongside him."  
  
"You're wrong, Severus."  
  
"Just think about it," Snape said. "Think about it for a few days."  
  
Lucius' jaw tightened, but he said nothing as he began to undress. A heavy silence fell over the room as he slipped under the sheets and pulled the comforter around his shoulders. Snape lay in the bed beside him, listening as Lucius slowly dropped off to sleep.  
  
He stood up and finally undressed, sliding in to lay beside his lover and listen to him breath. Snape could still hear Sirius' scream on the air and knew that no sleep would come to him that night.  
  
  
End Chapter Eight 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine  
  
  
Night after night Lucius lay awake, certain that Snape was also awake beside him, but he said nothing. For the first time in his life, Lucius was really torn. His decision to leave Snape after graduation hadn't been easy, but it was nothing like the decision he was facing now. He had given up everything to be able to follow Tom into battle, if he left his entire life would be just a lie. His fairy tale ending would be shattered and he would never live happily ever after as a world ruler with his son and Snape by his side. If he left he would be spitting in the face of everything he believed it, but if he didn't leave he was certain that he would be alone.  
  
He couldn't leave, not when they were so close to finding out where James and Lily Potter were hiding. Tom had been torturing Sirius Black for nearly a week and Lucius was sure that he would crack any day. Sirius still denied that he was the Secret Keeper, but Lucius knew better; there was no one else who James and Lily would have even considered. Not even Dumbledore would have been as trustworthy as their best friend. Soon enough Tom would know where his enemies were hidden and then Lucius would have the world at his feet.  
  
He sighed and turned over, staring at Snape's profile in the dark. It was unfair of him to try and make Lucius choose, both of them knew it was, but neither of them said anything about it. Snape's sudden determination to leave the Death Eater's frightened Lucius; he knew the other man wouldn't make it very far before Tom had him killed for his betrayal and yet Snape didn't seem to even consider this. As days passed by and more mudbloods were slaughtered in Lucius' home Snape became more sure of his decision to leave. There was no going back, in less than a week he would be gone whether or not Lucius decided to go with him.  
  
"I want to," he breathed.  
  
Snape's eyes opened. "Hm?"  
  
"I said I want to."  
  
"You want to what?"  
  
Lucius sighed deeply and propped himself up on one elbow. "I want to leave with you. Couldn't you just wait a little longer and then we can do whatever we want?"  
  
Snape closed his eyes again and shook his head. "No, I can't wait a little longer, Lucius. I'm leaving Thursday and . . ." he trailed off and drew in a deep breath, "and that's your last chance."  
  
Lucius felt his throat tighten and his eyes narrowed. "What did you say?"  
  
"Thursday is your last chance," Snape repeated. "I'm leaving and if you don't come with me I don't want to see you again."  
  
Lucius nearly laughed with disbelief. "Are you giving me an ultimatum, Severus?"  
  
"I believe that's what they're called."  
  
Lucius flopped down onto his back and stared blankly at the ceiling. "I can't believe I'm hearing you say this."  
  
"Take Draco and come with me," Snape said.  
  
"I can't."  
  
Snape shrugged and turned away from Lucius. "Then I guess you've made your decision."  
  
Lucius licked his lips uncertainly, then said, "I guess I have."  
  
They both fell silent and Lucius wondered if he should try to say anything else. He was about to open his mouth and ask Snape to reconsider when the other man sat up in the bed. Lucius watched as Snape brushed his hair out of his face, then turned to stare at him with his black eyes. They held each other's gaze for a long time before Snape leaned over and pressed his lips to Lucius'.   
  
"I wish you would reconsider," Snape whispered against Lucius' mouth.  
  
"You know I can't."  
  
There was no answer for this but another kiss, then Snape backed away and stood from the bed. He dressed quickly, then sunk into the chair by the window, staring outside at the lush courtyard below. Lucius watched him, taking in the sallow skin and dark features, the lank hair that hung in Snape's face. Snape toyed with the buttons on the sleeves of his shirt, twisting them back and forth until the strings broke and he glanced down in surprise. A muttered curse escaped his lips and Lucius had to smile. It was exactly the type of thing Snape would do when he thought no one was watching.  
  
Snape remained in the chair, running the broken button over his fingers as Lucius watched. He didn't want things to change, but he knew they were about to, so he watched Snape instead. As the light crept over the room Lucius watched the shadows on Snape's face deepen, then disappear as the sun beat down on him. Snape stood a moment later, cast a final glance at Lucius and then left the room.  
  
  
* * * *  
  
  
Snape swallowed hard, then straightened his shoulders and started down the dirty staircase that led to the dungeons under the Malfoy Manor. It was the only area of the house that Narcissa didn't demand the house-elves clean daily, the only area where she would let even a speck of dust collect and it showed. His shoes scraped against the grime as he walked and he avoided putting his hand on the railing or the stone wall. The torches barely gave him enough light to see where he was going, but he would have rather risked a broken neck from falling down the stairs than having his hand permanently stuck in the dirt on the railing.  
  
He descended quickly and quietly, passing the guard near the door and nodded briskly before entering the dungeons. He didn't want to be seen by more people than he had to, especially on the day that would be his last in the house. All Snape wanted was to finish his business in the dungeon and then get out as fast as possible. He knew it would be a long shot, but he planned on returning to Hogwarts, maybe Dumbledore would be able to protect him.  
  
Snape turned the last corner in the dungeons and faced the only occupied cell in the entire area. Huddled in a corner was the beaten and bruised form of Sirius Black. He looked like he was asleep, but Snape didn't know if it was truly sleep or simply a pain induced unconsciousness.  
  
"Black!" Snape hissed, shaking the cell bars slightly. "Wake up."  
  
Sirius groaned and murmured something unintelligible into the floor.  
  
"Get up," Snape growled.  
  
With another groan Sirius heaved himself off the floor and swayed unsteadily. "Go ahead," he murmured finally in a hoarse voice. "I don't know anything."  
  
"I'm not here to torture you!" Snape said sharply.  
  
Sirius stared blearily at him for a moment, then blinked quickly. "Snape."  
  
"That would be my name."  
  
"What do you want?" Sirius asked.  
  
"To get you out of here," Snape replied, bending down to examine the lock.  
  
Sirius snorted. "Why the hell would I want your help?"  
  
Snape stopped looking at the lock and raised his gaze to Sirius. "Are you joking?"  
  
"No. I don't want anything you have to give me," Sirius said.  
  
"Your only other choice is to stay here and have Tom torture you until you tell him where the Potters are hiding," Snape reminded him.  
  
Sirius continued to glare at him. "I know my options, Death Eater."  
  
"And you would rather stay here and risk the lives of your friends than let me help you? Is that it?" Snape asked.  
  
Sirius nodded firmly.  
  
Snape backed away slowly. "Fine, have it your way, Black. But I certainly hope that their deaths don't end up on your shoulders because of your stupid desire to keep your pride in tact," he snarled, then turned and walked briskly down the hall.   
  
His footsteps echoed loudly in the confined area, but he didn't care. If Sirius Black was too stupid to accept his help, then that was just fine. Snape only hoped that people didn't end up dead because of one man's ridiculous need to protect his ego.  
  
With a growl of frustration he slammed the dungeon door behind him and set off into the house to find Lucius. It was time for him to go.  
  
  
* * * *  
  
  
Lucius felt him enter the room before he heard him but he didn't turn. He remained seated at the desk in his study, his quill poised over a parchment and he waited. The air around him grew completely still and even the birds outside hushed their song. It was their goodbye, nothing could destroy their final goodbye.  
  
"I'm about to leave," Snape said finally.  
  
Lucius closed his inkwell and carefully set down his quill before turning. When his eyes finally met Snape's he nodded slowly.   
  
"I thought you might be," he said.  
  
"You can still come with me."  
  
A smile twitched at the corners of Lucius' mouth. "I suppose I could if I wanted to die."  
  
Snape sighed deeply, but said nothing.  
  
"I'll keep him fooled for as long as I can," Lucius said quickly, "but I can't promise anything."  
  
Snape nodded. "I know and I appreciate anything you can do."  
  
"Where will you go?" Lucius asked.  
  
"Are you sure I should tell you? If he finds out that you know anything . . ." Snape trailed off. "I saw Black. I don't want him doing to you what he did to Black."  
  
Lucius nodded. "You're right. It's probably best that I don't know."  
  
They fell silent and Snape watched Lucius carefully, his gaze burning into the other man.  
  
"I suppose it's only fair you're leaving this time," Lucius said.  
  
Snape frowned. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I left you at school and now you're going to leave me here," Lucius explained. "We're even now."  
  
"Are we?"  
  
Lucius glanced at him quickly. "Of course."  
  
"I expect you to stick by that," Snape said.  
  
Lucius rose from his chair and went to the man in the doorway. "I promise I won't hurt you again. I can't."  
  
Snape nodded slowly. "I believe you."  
  
"Take care of yourself," Lucius said, his fingers brushing across the skin of Snape's hand. "Don't let me hear that you got yourself killed doing something stupid."  
  
Snape almost smiled. "And when have you known me to do anything stupid?"  
  
"Are you sure you can't stay?" Lucius asked suddenly.  
  
Snape shook his head. "You know I can't. Not after seeing what he does so willingly . . . I'm not like that. I might be a cold hearted bastard, but I'm not a murderer."  
  
"But I am," Lucius whispered.  
  
Snape held his gaze steady. "You have what it takes to get ahead, Lucius. You can do anything. I'm too weak."  
  
"You're strong enough to leave," Lucius said.  
  
"Then I suppose we see this situation quite differently, don't we?"  
  
"I suppose so."  
  
Snape took a step backward. "I'm still going to blame you when I'm a bitter old man." He tried to smile. "Goodbye, Lucius. Good luck."  
  
"Thank you," Lucius murmured. "And the very same to you."  
  
Snape took another step away, then seemed to think better of his decision and stepped into the room once more. One of his hands came up to tangle in Lucius' hair and he pulled the other man forward to capture his mouth in a kiss. It ended too abruptly, but Snape stepped away quickly, breathing hard and looking frightened.  
  
"Goodbye," he said again quickly, then turned and walked down the hall.  
  
Lucius watched him go, the taste of Snape still on his lips. He touched his fingers to his mouth softly, as if by some miracle he would be able to capture some of what Snape had left behind. His hand fell and he watched the shoulders clad in dark material disappear down the stairs.   
  
It would be the last time Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape saw each other for a very long time.  
  
  
End Chapter Nine 


	10. Epilogue

Epilogue - Twenty Years Later  
  
  
Lucius Malfoy stepped into Hogwarts and his lip immediately curled in distaste. Nothing could have convinced him to let Draco teach at this wretched school, but the boy had insisted. Twenty years old and the only thing he wanted to do was teach flying at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Lucius and Narcissa had hoped for so much more than that.  
  
"Lucius!"  
  
With a snarl of disgust and anger, Lucius turned to see Albus Dumbledore's coming down the hall toward him. Doddering old fool, he thought. Muggle loving imbecile.  
  
"What brings you here on Christmas?" Dumbledore asked, smiling kindly.  
  
"A word with my son," Lucius said icily. "Is he nearby?"  
  
"In the Great Hall, I believe," Dumbledore replied. "I can take you there and you can-"  
"I know the way," Lucius interrupted, brushing off the Headmaster. "Thank you for your time, Albus."  
  
He walked away briskly, hoping to get away from Hogwarts and soon as possible and back to his own home. The last place he wanted to be during the holidays was at the place he most despised, not that his home was pleasantly cheery either. In the twenty years since Severus Snape had left the Death Eaters Narcissa had never let a single day go by without mentioning the relationship they had had.   
  
That was another reason he wanted to leave Hogwarts as soon as was humanly possible. He did not want to come face to face with Snape after so long.   
  
Unfortunately, as he turned the corner toward the Great Hall, the end of Lucius' walking stick rapped sharply against the shins of Hogwarts resident Potions Master. Each of them stopped and studied each other for a long moment. While Lucius had barely changed, Snape looked far older than his years. His eyes were lined and his expression was absolutely foul.   
  
Lucius arched an eyebrow. "I can only imagine what dreadful student put that absolutely abysmal expression on your face."  
  
Snape straightened his back. "Only your bloodline makes me grimace like this, Lucius . . . you ought to know that."  
  
"So, Draco is keeping you on your toes then. I'll have to thank him."  
  
Snape's frown grew deeper and he hunched over again. "If there's nothing else, I'd like to return to my chambers."  
  
"I wouldn't dream of keeping you," Lucius said, stepping aside. "You must have some terribly important potion to concoct for your children, I imagine."  
  
Snape glared at him, but said nothing as he walked past.  
  
"This certainly doesn't compare to what you could have had, Severus," Lucius called after him.  
  
Snape stopped and turned back, his black eyes narrowed into slits. "What, exactly, could I have had?" he asked. "Tell me, Lucius, what would my life have been like if I had stayed with you?"  
  
"Well, you wouldn't be working in this dreary place, for one thing," Lucius said, waving his stick at the hall.  
  
"No, perhaps not. But would I have been in Azkaban?"  
  
Lucius snorted. "I wouldn't have let you go to Azkaban."  
  
"Oh no?" Snape asked. "You would have done what, exactly? Saved my life? Paid my way out of jail?"  
  
"Perhaps," Lucius replied.  
  
"I prefer being here," Snape said angrily. "I prefer being a human to whatever you've turned into."  
  
A smile crossed Lucius' lips. "Oh yes, Severus, you act so very much like a human. In fact, you fit right in with everyone!"  
  
"Your sarcasm is not appreciated."  
  
"Ah, but isn't it fun anyway?"  
  
"Go home, Lucius," Snape growled. "Just leave and never show your face here again. It disgusts me after everything you've done."  
  
Lucius grinned again. "Temper, temper, Severus. You've turned into quite the bitter old man."  
  
Snape glared at him. "And I still blame you for that," he said, then turned and walked down the hall.   
  
He wouldn't submit himself to Lucius' jeers any longer, twenty years had passed and both men had changed. Snape had become a recluse and Lucius had become a heartless monster. Whatever had once been between them was long gone and there would be no fairy tale ending.  
  
  
  
End 


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